finger painting

modern expressionism - art of mine from 11/28/2008.

Empty Mind (sort of)

Thoughts don't plague me like they used to. I'm no longer obsessed with thinking. 5-15 years ago my mind was a raging river unable to stop thinking and over thinking. I'm not sure why things have changed. Age? The ability to detach better and see things from multiple perspectives? It scares me a little that I don't delve deeply, but then I'm satisfied to think (ha! think) that I am achieving some sort of zen state - zazen? I guess it's not zazen really or a zen mind because I'm not practicing sitting meditation, but this might be a good time to try.

I'm in a relationship. I'm not trying to change her. I'm not even exactly trying to understand her from my own perspective. I'm not obsessing over our differences too often. I'm not battling the little things that I would have so much.

A thought by Alice Walker come to mind (ah, thinking again):
"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow."

In all relationships there is the desire by one or the other for adjustment or change.... there is the voice that must be heard or the thoughts that want to come forward, but it's not always necessary. My mind is quieter than it used to be - my expectations are only for respect and love and some affection. My expectation is also that I won't demand it but learn to see how it is given by her and appreciate her for how it is given - not thinking too much about how it isn't.

routine

days broken down by
distinct segments of routine
rituals of time

disengaged empty
mind vacant, empty, airy
detached reality

tourist

i am a tourist
in life, in love, everywhere

fears interrupt my
flow of emotion, blocking
my heart, putting up walls

that could be taken down
with a touch of the hand,
a desire to hold me
and pull me near

Burned Flowers

for my girl, daisies
sweltering in the kitchen
parched and withering

chili

sunday's texas meal
reminding me of the home
i left just last month

Sunday Weather Pic

This weather - mid 40's and cloudy - inspires chili for lunch :) I'm not a good cook - my grown son can attest to that - suffering through years of bad food, fast food, disgusting food - but he did make it to adulthood :) Nevertheless I try to cook something. Chili is easy enough and heart warmingly good- and a reminder of my home state - Tejas!



shot with motorola razr camera phone in the grocery store parking lot... go pro! ;)

NYC and pics

In Central Park - taken with my phone camera


Another Central Park shot - with my phone camera



in Virginia - day 3 of the 3 day drive from dallas to jersey

New Life

Since the last blog - I've driven 1500+ miles to a new apartment in Jersey - started a job - have a gf - experienced the end of 1 season and the beginning of another.... seen Delaware Water Gap, walked all over NYC and Central Park, seen the Jersey Shore (LBI), been to IKEA twice... designed luggage for 5 brands and started to watch Grey's Anatomy really for the first time ever... it's been a lot busy and a lot good stuff....